It’s seems to me, that a lot of conversations are merely just a way for people to talk through other people. A way to resolve things for ourselves to obtain clarity. Waiting for their time to talk. I talk a lot, too much. Silence makes me a little uneasy and with my mind always racing, it’s easy to fill the space by vomiting words all over it.

Blogs are really just another way to talk to ourselves. If anybody is actually reading this, you may think that this is worded as if I am talking to you, and trying to put a message to the outside world. However you’re wrong, just like a diary you seem to be, well as I am writing at least, nonexistent.

I uploaded some demos on the nihilist myspace today and realised that I was wrong, people do seem to exist on the Internet. This reminds me of time I told my friend Paul that I put some songs online. He said “you are entering a world of pain.” I am still waiting for said world to arrive, so I think I don’t worry about sharing overtly personal shit, on the internet and otherwise, for the following reasons.

1. People could care less what I have to say and just as if we were in a conversation, they are merely waiting for their turn to speak.

2. People are nice to our face and will only really talk behind your back. And if we use the same logic many use to dismiss god, “I can’t see it so it doesn’t exist”. So it’s all sweet.

My favorite is when you ask a person what they think. They stop and think about how to make what they were thinking acceptable. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. The interesting thing is that we will also dumb down the complements, can’t look like we care too much. Don’t want to be gushy.

This is retarded, I could talk to myself for hours.

Goodnight Mark
Goodnight Mark
Goodnight John Boy